Fear

Me and my boyfriend, Roger, sat huddled on the couch while watching paranormal activity 4 the other night. I sat with teeth chattering and he screamed when a bug hit his leg. I seem to have lost touch with my horror movie tough guy demeanour. I spent the entire night in a cold sweat, imagining things in the dark as Roger snored his way through the night. I ended up with a lovely nightmare where Sir Snores-A-Lot became possessed, brutally abused me and then left. Now you’ll probably wonder what one stint of horror movie fear brought about in my university educated brain. A simple question: Where does fear come from? Or actually a series of questions. Why are some fears more common than others. Does having one person in your life who is a afraid of something increase the fear of said thing in yourself. Does this mean society wide some fears just continuous increase. Now I am not a sociology major but I do have a few thoughts. Fear is something mind based and therefore the more we think about and the more a certain feeling is associated to a thing, person or place. The same concept works in relationships as well. The more I think about a person and associate a feeling with that person, the more that feeling becomes true. I can think of many people I have loved and hated that this true for. Now here’s where my tangent ties everything back together. I have a tiny fear of losing people I care about. So much so I have actually pushed away and lost people because of it. My poor little mind is so scared of losing people, that I’ll dream about my possessed boyfriend leaving me. Actually maybe it doesn’t tie together at all really. Perhaps I’ll just leave the thoughts on fear in an open thought of what fear really is. An accumulation of experiences that lead us to believe a certain thing is particularly dangerous or just a thought that lays in our minds and grows with time when it is not stopped.

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